Ein Liebeslied (Yes, another German song)
It’s so easy to tell someone to stop wallowing in self-pity. Why would we do that? Because we like to see people when they’re happy, and wallowing makes us feel as helpless as them. It’s harder to tell yourself to stop, though. And why should you?
Nothing is wrong with feeling bad about something you think is wrong or missing. Emotions are like the weather: we can’t help but get wet when it rains. Don’t fight the weather, that’s quite useless. Also, have you ever seen a hippo wallowing in the mud? It might look like it’s getting dirty, but actually, the mud helps him get clean and healthy skin.
On the other hand: we might as well enjoy the weather. Have you ever seen people sing and dance in the rain? We might “enjoy” our sadness by seeing it as a confirmation that what we have lost was real. That we are human after all. That it clears the way for new situations to come. “Negative” emotions help us learn something about who we can also be. And about what we want, what we dream of, and why reality is different from what we expected. We learn to live with our expectations, and change then if we want to. They may even help us plan for future situations, clear our minds from false assumptions about what we had, and open our eyes for possibilities that we didn’t really see before.
Enjoy the rain, wallow if you want to, and know that all weather is temporary. You are who you are, whatever the weather. And you have every right to be here!