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Weather..

Weather.. (Photo credit: Tim Patterson)

Ein Liebeslied (Yes, another German song)

It’s so easy to tell someone to stop wallowing in self-pity. Why would we do that? Because we like to see people when they’re happy, and wallowing makes us feel as helpless as them. It’s harder to tell yourself to stop, though. And why should you?

Nothing is wrong with feeling bad about something you think is wrong or missing. Emotions are like the weather: we can’t help but get wet when it rains. Don’t fight the weather, that’s quite useless. Also, have you ever seen a hippo wallowing in the mud? It might look like it’s getting dirty, but actually, the mud helps him get clean and healthy skin.

On the other hand: we might as well enjoy the weather. Have you ever seen people sing and dance in the rain? We might “enjoy” our sadness by seeing it as a confirmation that what we have lost was real. That we are human after all. That it clears the way for new situations to come. “Negative” emotions help us learn something about who we can also be. And about what we want, what we dream of, and why reality is different from what we expected. We learn to live with our expectations, and change then if we want to. They may even help us plan for future situations, clear our minds from false assumptions about what we had, and open our eyes for possibilities that we didn’t really see before.

Enjoy the rain, wallow if you want to, and know that all weather is temporary. You are who you are, whatever the weather. And you have every right to be here!

Another song about rain

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776455-R1-015-6 (Photo credit: tbone_sandwich)

A friend of mine went on a three week holiday to Canada. She’s been there before, and I hope she will enjoy her stay there. She’s actually quite adventurous, going there for a bike ride through nature. She’s done it before with a camper, but she said she’s actually looking forward to doing this on her bicycle, so that she can absorb more of the green and life all around her.

While she’s there, another friend and I are looking after her kitties. And boy, they are at least as adventurous as their owner. At first a bit scared of the new faces (two larger people with lower voices and strange smells), they hid behind the bed or inside the litter box. When we could reach one of them, it had a heartbeat of about 120 per second. That’s actually quite normal, according to my friend, but it was clear that they were not feeling very brave.Luckily, the horrible adventure (to them) took a turn for the best, when one of us opened the food bag. Still a bit uneasy, but drawn to the odors of nourishment, the kittens slowly emerged. This will not be the last time that we meet, so there is still a lot of time. There will be fears and uneasiness, each visit again, until they will await the sound of the key in the door lock, knowing that their friends will have returned.

That’s adventure for ya, looking through their eyes. Of course, people are different from cats. There’s not much adventure in our lives, we have the daily drag to go through, and most of the time we’re just lucky enough to avoid the more tedious people / tasks that loom around every corner. There’s some kind of routine in everything we do, and the time we’ve left to spare is filled with hobby’s and activities that help us forget the parts of life that we don’t really enjoy.

Wait, did I really say that we are different from cats? Are our lives really that more boring and do we really have so much less exciting moments going on? Or can it be, that we just forget to look at these things through the eyes of the adventurer?In one of the first chapters of Theije Twijnstra‘s book “Een gelukkig mens en andere geheimen”  (A happy man and other secrets), I read something along the lines of: adventure is really in our own mind. When we were kids, running through the streets, pretending that we were hunted by a dragon or a cop or a cowboy, the game became the reality and our feelings made us really as scared as we wanted to be. Imagination is a large part of our perception.

On the other hand: will we really experience new things if we avoid places / people / situations just because they’re  strange or new to us? The feelings of insecurity, pain, fear and discomfort can very well mean that something new is happening. Are we looking at those feelings through the eyes of the adventurer?

Our life is never dull, when we watch it from within. Compare it to a movie, but then with the emotions and perceptions of the main character included. Emotions and feelings are signals that we can learn from, if we observe them and take them into account. Hiding them, or hiding from them, will just mean that we could be missing out on something new, something that adds spice to our life, that helps us grow in knowledge and experience. Wouldn’t that be interesting?

locations of The Young Indiana Jones Chronicle...

locations of The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles as listed on the wikipedia page, by their title. Map uses 1930s country borders (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Also, unlearn the feeling that you “should” do anything. It is easy to think that it’s important what other people think of you. I don’t say that it’s not. But where’s the adventure, if we can’t try things that other people wouldn’t do? Can you imagine, say, Indiana Jones turning around and give up anytime someone said to him “You are not allowed in here” or “That is impossible, don’t waste your time on that”?

Watch the world through eyes that see it all, don’t filter out things that other people don’t like or want to see, nor things that you are uncomfortable with for whatever reason. See them, learn where they come from and maybe, just maybe, they might end up being your friends instead, feeding you the wisdom and adventure of life itself.